Getting Fit NOW!

Alright folks. So, just wanted to post an update. While I started my new fitness mission well before Thanksgiving, I fell off in the midst of the holiday. You see, I made the mistake of cooking LOTS of food and allowing the leftovers to remain accessible. In one week, I picked up nearly 3lbs. I've since lost 3 of them. I will be weighing myself in the am and am hoping I'm back to where I was before the holiday arrived and stole my mission... pulled the rug from under me. I felt hoodwinked and bamboozled. Boy was I mad at Thanksgiving!! However, about 1 week later I realized that the only person who tricked me was myself. In fact, I reneged on a promise I made to myself and I was blaming others and everything else for my slip-up. How many times have I done this? Likely- too many to count. So, I'm giving myself a do-over. I'm still struggling, but I'm coming to some realizations about myself. The most important realization is knowing that I can do it and understanding that I can flex my "NO MUSCLE" whenever I remember my commitment to ME. That's step #1. This weekend, my Zumba team and I discussed giving up one thing for a whole week. I decided to give up meat and white flour carbs for the week. Today I flexed my "NO MUSCLE" by sticking to all veggies and meatless protein all day. In fact, I made egg whites and mixed veggies for dinner while the family had manwich. That's progress.

So- how you doin?

Getting Fit NOW

So, I thought I'd do a post today discussing my weight loss journey. For the last 8 years I have been trying to manage weight issues. I've gained about 50 pounds over the last 8 years and much of it is due to hormonal changes after a surgery I had in 2003. I've had moments of clarity on the issue and moments of denial. The two don't go well together! Over the last 1.5 years I've taken my weight a bit more serious. After finding my biological mother, I learned that the women in my family start heading for Obesity Road after age 35. Those same women have battled diabetes in their later lives and to be honest, I want no part of that disease. So, I workout a great deal- off and on. These days I'm trying to be more on than off. I have begun running and teaching Zumba. Me and my crew are working to lose weight TOGETHER! Working out is important for so many reasons. I work out for weight loss, toning AND because it is a GREAT stress reliever. Besides, I just feel good after. It's one accomplishment in an increasingly busy schedule of activity.

After participating in a boot camp early this year I realized that I lost weight when my diet was high in protein and decidedly low in carbs and sugar. So, after raging against the reality of that concept, I'm back on board. I can't keep starting over. I want to start and finish this particular race- so I'm running. Aligning my diet with my fitness activity is a huge part of this quest. Starting this week, I've made some lifestyle changes beginning with a fast from sugar, white carbs and meat. The fast is for 5 days initially (due to a trip out of town this weekend), but I plan to pick it up again next Monday. In the meantime, I'm taking charge. I will begin reporting my efforts here. I won't share my weight but I'll let you know how many pounds I have lost. I will even share pictures and perhaps post a video or two along the journey. The rest of my plan includes avoiding lose weight fast gimmicks. I have shiny ball syndrome… You know the one where you’re on a path, then you see/hear about something else that’s just a little more sparkly-- so you drop what you’re doing and run in that direction? Oh? That’s just me? LOL!

Finally, it's that time of year when everyone is pushing some sort of product, supplement, etc to help you lose and meet your upcoming resolutions. I don't want to go there. I've read reviews on many such products and there is one common denominator which is always- the things they don't tell you. They don’t tell you what happens AFTER you stop taking it (whatever IT is). Personally, I am not the sort to become reliant on something I have to take every day beyond vitamins and if I can make it happen with regular food and exercise- so shall it be. So, that said- it's just me and food. Healthy food. We... I can do this.

If you're thinking about the journey, why wait. Get fit NOW. With me.

~Peace

The Mic Sounds Nice: Mark Ronson Track

So, for my music lovers, especially those who love fusions of jazz and hip hop- you absolutely must check out this song from Mark Ronson. He is working on a documentary called Re:Generation about jazz experimentation. This song is one track to give you a hint of whats to come. Got my foot tapping- what say you?

A La Modeliste 4/Erykah Badu, Mos Def, Trombone Shorty and Dap-Kings

I Am Who I Am

I was prompted today to write a poetry or prose piece and the theme was: I am who I am... Issues with my birthmother have been front and center lately... I think since my visit to San Francisco. I am working on a follow up to our visit but thought I'd share this piece instead. I hope to hit the mic with it some day. Without crying.

I am who I am

And it’s because of you

A one night stand

Is a part of my truth

Matters not that you loved him

But what happened after

In a house of shame

Far from derision

and laughter

you got acceptance

with your food and your bed

while I swam for my life

nourished by what you fed

a meal missing love

it’s no wonder I’m tired

while you watched Butch Cassidy

my womb-lease expired

discharged in a river

of blood, sweat and pain

you pushed me out

then gave me a name

Gloria. Marie.

Was tossed out into space

Then lost in the shuffle

Of papers, red tape

Before I could exist

or my race would start

I fought for my life and

a place in your heart

But I didn’t win

And neither did you

There’s no draw in battles

Where both parties lose

Still I persevered

In an attempt to be better

My womb, the answer

To your… Dear-John letter

See- I’ve loved my own

And those not mine too

Those cast aside

the neglected, abused

Trying to add color

For those feeling blue

I don’t love ‘cause I must

But because I choose

I give what I missed

So they don’t miss too

I am who I am

And it’s because of you.

Naturally Curly Interview

I found this interview of me on line today. By now, it was about 8pm or after-- LA time. That means almost midnight EST time and in my real life. I surely wished they'd caught me when I was feeling fresh in mind and a little less greasy from the humidity. LOL! Even still- I think I got across the message I was trying to relay.

http://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/retexturizing/big-chop-success

Review: Kim Coles Grow-out Challenge/Los Angeles Meet - Up

Hey everyone! It's time to follow up on the Kim Coles Grow-Out Challenge/Meet-up! Where to begin? I've read a couple of reviews from other attendees and I think their perspectives were spot-on. Of course, my perspective as the challenge winner was slightly different! I already noted my fear of flying so it probably won't surprise you to know that I stayed up nearly all night on Friday in anticipation of my Saturday morning flight. I found a cute little mini dress that I decided to pair with leggings and heels. After all, in MY eyes I was the Cinderella of the ball! I spritzed my hair with a little water and meadowfoam oil and retwisted for the night. I decided to leave them in until I arrived.

In spite of my fears, and after the initial take-offs, my flights to Los Angeles were rather peaceful. I slept for about 2 hours of the trip but I stayed awake reading for a good part of it too. There was zero turbulence and I even looked out of the window a couple of times! See:

I was picked up by a handsome, black... town car. LOL! And we zipped off to The Omni where I was staying. The view and the weather were magnificent. There were lush, green palm trees all around and TRAFFIC! My, oh my! And this was on a Saturday! I had plenty of time to review my itinerary which included lunch with Jess of JessiCurl and then a ride to the venue with Nikki. Decorated in warm tones with pops of red, yellow and orange throughout, The Omni was beautiful and serene. There were some minor issues with my stay but aside from that, my room was lovely and I cursed myself for not bringing my swim suit when I saw the pool from my window.

View of the pool

I had only a few moments to relax before having lunch with Jess. That was quite the... ADVENTURE! Jess and I met in the lobby and sought out a place to have lunch. She had stunning red curls and was immediately warm and friendly. I felt right at home- like we were old friends! I didn't know it at the time, but she was staying elsewhere and did not know of a nearby restaurant. It was suggested by staff that downtown LA is not especially busy and many places were closed during the lunch hour. However, someone suggested we take the Angel Flight, suggesting that we would find places to eat there. This statement was rather cryptic for both Jess and me. So, we set about asking everyone in view about the Angel Flight until finally, we found it. What is the Angel Flight you ask? It's an unmanned, trolley that takes you down the hill from the hotel to the street. Reminded me of a roller coaster; I was a little scared!

Across that street, there is a huge market that seemed to primarily house Asian/Hispanic/Latino cuisine but sold lots of other items including castor oil and teas. It was after 2pm before Jess and I found the place. At the market, we decided to just go for some yogurt since there would be food at the venue. We had great conversation, covering everything from how Jess began her business (great story!) to our family dynamics. We then headed back to our rooms to prep for the party. I found out I had an extra 45 minutes to prepare so I took a nap! Can you say JET LAG?

The town car arrived to pick up Nikki and I. Little did I know that I would have the TOTAL pleasure of also meeting Gia (just writing of her makes me smile), Aunt Toney and Nikki's friend John (he's a cool dude and he was single in a sea of beautiful women). Well, Gia is just too cute for words. Seriously. She has an immeasurable amount of personality! I immediately loved Aunt Toney! Nikki has a great team of family and friends around her for support. I loved that! They were supportive and helpful with Gia as Nikki conducted her business. Everyone I know in CN world has said that Nikki was very sweet. I CONCUR! She is just as cute as she wants to be and very warm and had on the best, sparkle-liest shoes I've ever seen! Together we stepped into the venue, a penthouse apartment called the House of Spades. I didn't know what to expect as the entry of the building was sparse and empty. But the ride to the 15th floor offered a surprise: It was the BOMB! If I liked that dot.com stuff I would have added it but bottom line- the place was very classy. 3 levels of awesomeness. I've visited similar homes before but this one had a bit extra, including 2 awesome, private patios overlooking the city, a hot tub overlooking the 2nd floor and lots of awesome flourishes. Once there, I ventured from the patio and from room to room, taking pictures. On the patio, I met some folks from Essence Magazine who were taking photos and interviewing curlies. I was interviewed when they heard I was the grow-out challenge winner. I have no idea what I said but if they use it- I pray that I sounded half-intelligent. Before I knew it, the place began filling up with lovely ladies. There was awesome, natural hair everywhere! There was color, twas, medium and large twistouts, fros, blowouts , braids and even straight styles were all up in the house! Look:

The atmosphere was electric and Kim Cole's entrance sent it into a frenzy. She was full of EN-ER-GY! Everyone was rushing to take pictures with and of them both. Nikki kicked off the party welcoming guests and saying a few words about CurlyNikki before introducing Kim. Standing off to the side, it was magical and fun to see what I deemed the "Curly Nation" on one accord, listening to her every word. It was an awesome sight indeed. When Kim joined her, it was just icing on the cake. She spoke of her transition, journey and the grow-out partnership with Nikki. When Kim finished, the audience applauded and the party officially began. There was music, food, drinks and hair demonstrations. I only indulged in the food and music. The vibe was DOPE.

I must confess that I'm an introvert and and you already know that I didn't know anyone at the party. That's usually not a good mix for a party setting. However, I forced myself outside my own box by talking to everyone I could. Some recognized me as the grow-out challenge winner. I met a woman who will be appearing on the X-Factor, singing for Simon Cowell! Go girl! A lovely young woman who told me she tried a recipe I had posted. I can't say how GREAT that made me feel! Thanks Keisha!  I met so many people that I can't remember them all! It was so nice to be embraced by all of the California ladies. I connected with so many who offered a familiar face once I ventured out and needed to return to base. A lone introvert can only deal with so much extroverted activity. So, for that, I want to specifically shout out Ysa, Janie, Buso, Connie, Destiny, Michelle, Pamela and my CN friends Renon and Lydia! Renon and Lydia were just as great in person as they are on CurlyNikki. Thanks ladies! By 9pm, this Cinderella was super exhausted and more than relieved when Michelle from NaturallyCurly suggested we hail a cab back to the hotel! I had already replaced the heels with a pair of flat, silver slippers. It was time to go! Thus ended my night at the LA meet-up and let me tell ya- a sista was exhausted and I got out of there before THIS Cinderella could turn into a pumpkin!

The following morning, I had breakfast with Nikki, Aunt Toney and Gia. Gia was too cute and more than patient when I kept mistaking her signs for milk as waves hello. LOL! She even let me hold her for about 60 seconds. It was great spending a little time with Nikki and Aunt Toney. They are both great. I'm all about family connections and I can't say enough that I love that Nikki keeps her family close. I love that kind of love. Afterward, my car arrived and I headed back to LAX for my journey home. In retrospect, I can say that the LA trip was the highlight of my summer. My only regret is not taking pictures with Cassidy of Natural Selection, Kim Coles and leaving without my JessiCurl winnings. Jess promised to mail them to me. I'll post an update after I've used them.  I want to thank Nikki, Kim Coles, Jess and the Naturally Curly crew for a great time. The entire affair was classy and a model for meet-ups everywhere. Can't wait to bring one to Ohio!
Peace!

Fear of Flying

So, this weekend I’ll be flying out to Los Angeles thanks in all parts to a natural hair blogging contest that I won. The skeptic in me always wondered if anyone really wins these contests but alas- I’m going. The win was unexpected and exciting at once. It sounds pretty phenomenal on paper and when I’m telling my friends the story of how this trip came to exist. For about 36 hours I’ll be living it up- jet setting across the country, getting picked up by a private car, checking into a fabulous hotel and partying it up with a celeb-gone-curly and a natural hair rock star. Pass the Courvoisier please!

There’s only one problem. I’m afraid of flying. Seriously. My fear is not really based on anything other than perhaps EVERY SINGLE MOVIE about planes crashing. There is one out now. It is nurtured by the fact that every time I’m about to fly, there is a crashing plane report. This happened earlier this week, locally. And finally, there’s just more of a gamble involved than I like to take. I have no control. With every bit of turbulence, I scan the faces of the stewards who serve peanuts and soda from a silver, table-clothed cart for signs of danger. I behave as if I could possibly do anything should they display even the smallest hint of a problem. I know I can’t. But I do it anyway. And once we make it to our destination, I bless the ground and pray the hours don’t fly before I have to get back on and head home.

Although I’m addressing my fear of flying, there is another part of this story. I’m adopted. I’m still getting used to telling folks. I don’t know how to be any other way except blunt on the subject. I am what I am and its taken me a long time to get to this place. It was a one-way ticket! After divulging, I await reactions for a signal of danger. There is always the danger of them feeling sorry for me, suspecting I'm damaged goods or  seeing the shame and pain I’ve buried over the years after finding out the person who birthed me, chose not to raise me. Being adopted is a sensitive subject for me. For many like me. And yet- it is still a favorite joke of comedians and comedic writers. I’m guessing they’re not adopted. But I digress as always.

So here is the hitch to the giddy-up: My birth mom (BM) lives in Los Angeles. Since finding her, we have spoken only a few times a year and I’ve seen her only once during a week-long occasion in 2004. It may have been the most interesting Christmas present I've ever received. And from her it was the last and only. Fast forward nearly 7 years, too many painful conversations, long silences, weird and random text messages of “I love you’s” and “lets start overs” to now. 

After much internal debate, I sent her a message saying I would be in town and when. I relayed that there is a small window of opportunity for us to briefly connect. She agreed to meet, responding with her usual, hokey language, signing X’s and O’s next to her name. XOXOJoanne. In typing this, I realize we share the last 3 letters of our first name. It makes me giggle like a child. She reduces me in that way. In my dreams, I wish we shared more. But to date, we have only had fleeting moments of recognizing that which we share as mother and child; that which we have in common despite the great divide of adoption. I don’t know how this meeting will go but I admit I’m afraid. I’m afraid of allowing my emotions to fly. I’m afraid to allow them to land on any semblance of excitement or happiness at seeing her again. I’m terrified that she is forever the lothario and I the jilted lover. I’m afraid she won’t show. And afraid that I’ll be rejected, yet again by my first mother. She gave me life and I worry that with each rejection, she’ll take some of it away. It is a gamble and scarier than any plane ride I’ve been on thus far.

I'm a Winner!

Good morning!

I opened my email a couple of days ago and saw what I thought was another reminder to update my Kim Coles Grow Out Challenge blog. You already know I work hard to keep up with this one! As the message went on, I learned they had some very exciting news for me. My Kim Coles blog was selected as the grand prize winner!  I kept reading because of course I joined in February and had no recollection that there were prizes associated and if so- I'm thinking products. But this was bigger- I'm being flown to LA to attend the wrap-up party with Curly Nikki and Kim Coles! Can you say stoked? Surprised? Excited? Nervous? Yes! I experience all of those emotions. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around it and I'm already packing! You already know I'm taking my glasses and my camera! ;)

Well, there's a lot of scrambling going on as I prepare but I'm excited and thinking about extending my stay by a day. We'll see. In the meantime, what to wear and what to do with this hair??!!!

Hair Talk

In an effort to win her affections, there is a scene in the movie Brown Sugar where Mos Def is proclaiming to Queen Latifah "I'm a goer!". That scene makes me laugh. Every.Time. This post has absolutely nothing to do with Brown Sugar but instead about me and my hair. Instead of a "goer", I am a reflecter. I like to think about my journeys in life and lately my hair journey is consuming me. Once again, I spent time over the weekend reflecting on my hair after a prompt from a contest I entered back in February. The contest was the Kim Coles Grow Out Challenge. Although I had begun my blog last year, I thought I'd jump into this one because there were prizes involved. The product junking in me was attracted to the possible score of JessiCurl products and a small chance to win a trip to LA for the grand prize winner. 

I started the challenge way back in February and I was excited because I never particpate in challenges so this was my first. Plus, Kim Coles had revealed her beautiful hair and I just wanted to be a part of a movement involving a celebrity who was newly natural and proud of it. Two months later, I had an encounter with my hair dresser which left me feeling quite discouraged. I went in for a trim in March and came out with a chop. Trim... Chop... There is a difference, right? The difference being a 1/2 - 1 inch trim versus 3+ inches chopped. My bangs went from my chin to the bridge of my nose. The rest of my length suffered the same fate. We all cried "FOUL!" because we had just had a trim less than six weeks before. If my ends were worse than that, I attributed it to the use of heat because I'd had my hair flat-ironed at that time. I've realized since then that my hair doesn't take well to heat anymore. If heat is involved in styling, my hair also requires a significant amount of heat protection otherwise, stick straight hair is revealed after a wash. No bueno.  Needless to say I was upset and have taken only a few photos of my hair since then. Every photo would remind me of ... dun-dun-dun-de-dun... the incident. And the reminder was followed by anger. So! Moving on...

I know, I know. I am not my hair. I like the song and I've heard it all before! It grows back. Yeah... Again- Yadda. Yadda. But as for me and my hair- We're in love again! This after I realized I was blaming and punishing myself every time I looked into the mirror and viewed my shortened strands. Today... Again... I love my hair AND myself. We are Peaches and Herb... Reunited and it feels so good!!! Among other things, my hair has encouraged me to love and honor the rest of me. I'm drinking more water, taking vitamins and exercising more, which benefits all of me. So, when people assert I am not my hair... I think-- I am also not my limbs, my eyes or my smile. Rather- I am the sum of all my parts. And when I see all parts of me thriving, I know that I am those things and more. I am whole.

While the prompt for an update for the contest sparked this particular post, it is the love for self including my hair that made me dig a little deeper, beyond the setbacks and anger to see our relationship for what it is... To be honest, I didn't even remember the prize(s) until I reviewed the challenge information today. The real prize comes in the form of contant revelation about my natural hair and I... We've been reunited for nearly 3 years... (I know... we're kinda like newlyweds! Still lov'in on each other and thangs... ;)). And at the end of the day, we stick together, for better or worse. And for that I am gratefully and ever naturally- me!

Peace and love

Dreams of a Cardmaker

So, I have been working on my crafting skills for the last 2 years or so. I'm totally into scrapbooking and working with pictures. But more than that, I enjoy making cards for people and sending them. I absolutely LOVE getting a response from the recipient. Their joy is my joy. It's fun to get something besides bills in the mail, isn't it? Especially when it's not your birthday or any other special occasion!

A friend of mine recently received her Ph.D. I wanted to represent the fact that she was a brown-skinned girl and that she was fabulous. In fact, I suspected that underneath the robes, she would don a beautiful, brightly colored dress from some boutique. With that in mind, attached is the card I made for her. I purchased the cap, gown and diploma from a card shop but made the body, hair and skirt myself. Not bad... It was a fun project. I've been remiss in my crafting. Time to get back to it!

Amy Winehouse - Parental Advisory Needed

I became aware of Amy Winehouse in 2007/2008 thanks to… Pandora and ProjectVibe.net. That’s one reason I love Pandora and other internet/cable radio stations. They introduce you to talented, artists you’ve never heard of, from all over the world. From stations like Pandora and Projectvibe.net, you get more than the stifling, top 10 singers/rappers/genres that you get on local radio stations. People keep saying hip hop is dead but what's really dead is - RADIO.  Radio personnel are no longer the go-to folks for good music. Period. There’s a boatload of music out there to discover by artists who don’t have the payola or fame but they definitely have the chops and something to say beyond the usual sex, drugs, cars heard on radio --daily. Internet radio understands there is life and music beyond Rihanna, Beyonce, Jay-Z and Wiz Khalifa. Personally, I prefer chops and those stations deliver. How else would I have ever learned about Hill St. Soul, Zap Mama, Stephen Simmonds, Amy Winehouse?

I digress. In 2007-08, Amy had little to no presence in the U.S. If she had any, it was thanks to deejays who actually knew a little something about music with access and interest to that only found abroad (think Mark Ronson). Pandora and ProjectVibe played songs from Amy's Frank cd which was released in the UK only initially (2003). My favorites, all played regularly by internet radio were:

• Valerie (a collaboration with Mark Ronson)
• B’Boy Baby (with former Sugarbabe Mutya Buena)
• F-Me Pumps
• Stronger Than Me
• Amy, Amy, Amy

I found her music raw and gutsy. From the first lines of F-Me Pumps, I realized that this was a girl who required a parental, advisory sticker. And I loved it. She sang about whatever she wanted and it was in such a way that held my attention. She was like a white, Mary J Blige/Millie Jackson. This was the stuff my parents would kick the kids out the house so they could listen in private (even when there was snow on the ground!). Not long after, I heard and saw the video for Rehab (her latest release) on a music website. They made her look really pretty and sassy in that video. Then, I had no idea that song was a serious testimony about her life. I just dug it. So, I promptly ordered her cd from Amazon as an import (the only option at the time). I paid about $28 plus shipping from the UK. Yikes! It was costly but worth every penny. I LOVED it- cussing, warts and all. The girl sounded like she’d been through a few things and I related. I considered her cd my personally discovered, secret gem of music!

I love liner notes and learned that Amy wrote or co-wrote much of her own lyrics! Thumbs up for that alone! By the time Back to Black was released stateside, I was looking forward to her next release. About 6 months later and much to my chagrin, Back to Black was released in the U.S. Amy's music caught on wildly in the U.S. It’s not often a singer can hit the US ground running. She didn’t seem to work hard for fame here as she won a Grammy her first year out the gate.

The toll of fame however, appeared far too high a price to pay for Amy. Her public appearances from the very beginning were sketchy and suspect… The whole ordeal had a very… Video Killed the Radio Star feel. She was incredibly skinny, teeth in bad shape, bad hair and just in seemingly bad, physical shape. And as that Amy emerged and grew in popularity, the chances of a new release began to fade with every public appearance. Those chances were replaced by reasons she should go forth immediately to rehab. Eerily reminiscent of her Rehab song, her father pleaded that she get help. But she said- no. And then yes. And then no again. It became a horrible cycle. Her health and the bit of star power she had gained began to fade. From the start, Amy's music represented and made the listener feel the pain she endured. I always thought it was the cry of a jilted lover. Remnants of pain suffered at the hands of some wayward man, or love lost. Perhaps, that was the catalyst. However, in the end her demise came from the hands at the end of her own wrists; a desire for substances her body loved and hated at once. While we can't put a parental advisory sticker on illegal drugs, we do need to put one on life, big enough that our kids can always see them as they navigate and pursue their dreams. 27 is awfully young to die. Amy fell victim to the same issue as so many other could-have-been-legends... Fame and drugs. She is not the first or last and therefore no more special. Yet somewhere, sadly... there is another. And, since Amy never found peace in rehab with the living, I pray she has found it now in the ultimate... fade to black.

The Older Natural Questionaire from Seriously Natural



Picture me rollin!



Good morning! So yesterday, I mentioned that I answered questions about my hair journey as an "older natural" on another blog called Seriously Natural (http://www.seriouslynatural.org/). The host Sabrina presented the following questions and my responses were the source for my reflection yesterday. Consider this like one of those questionaires when people ask your favorite colors, ice cream, etc (and then ask you to forward to all your friends or you'll have bad luck... lol).  Feel free to answer yourself. And if you have a mind to do so, send your responses on to seriouslynatural4@gmail.com.

Hi, my name is Lynne. I'm an older natural-- and proud of it. 

1.  How long have you been Natural?I have been completely natural for 2 years and 3 months. In November, it will have been 3 years since my last relaxer.
2. Why did you become Natural?I decided to become Natural after a friend of mine and I discussed it. She had been on the journey for a few months and took me to a seminar. I decided I wanted to give it a try. It's funny because she returned to relaxers not long after while I soldiered on. I still love her even though she left me. LOL! It was actually kind of funny to tell people I was "going natural" as I transitioned. I'm glad I can now say that I AM Natural. But when you see me, there's no question. :)
3. Was it a hard transition?  How did you transition?The transition was mildly difficult. I used a lot of heat to keep the textures the same. I began cutting my hair to shorter styles to accommodate the transition because I’m just not a pony-tail kind of girl and I hadn't yet considered twist/braid sets as an option. The winter months were easy. But by March I began growing weary of the two textures. Going to the gym meant almost daily washing, straightening and far more work than I really wanted to do. That was VERY frustrating! So, I big chopped on April 23, 2009. On my lunch hour. :) That's a whole other story.
4. Did your age aid in your decision to go Natural?I often wonder if my age played a role. Meaning- would I have done this at 20-something? I’m not sure. But I've met many naturals who I thought were permies during my transition. Through them and the seminar, I realized that you could actually wear your hair straight even if you didn’t relax- and no one would know the difference! Then I REMEMBERED that I did that ALL the time before mom decided to relax my hair.
5. Does your age make it easier or harder to be Natural?I think my age makes it a little easier. I have developed an “I don’t care what other people think about what’s ON ME” attitude over the years. When you’re young, you often succumb to peer pressure. I couldn't care less. In fact, I'm thinking if you're not chipping in $$ or helping me do it- hursh. Immediately. lol
6. Do you see many Older Naturals in your area?  If so, what styles are they sporting?Naturals of all ages are common here in Ohio. They are rocking straight styles, puffs, twists, braids, twist/braid outs, wash and gos, super short cuts, and often in amazing colors! Here you see the whole gamut. I often see reports of black women not embracing their natural sisters on other blogs. I always wonder where they live because here in Ohio, in the valley, there is nothing but love and respect. Your choice of natural or straight hair is no big deal. I do credit some of that to meet-ups and hair dressers like mine who have created a movement of wearing hair chemical-free with the option of curly or straight. When you show up in numbers, you can change a mind.
7. How do you primarily wear your Natural hair?I primarily wear my hair in twist outs over the weekend and puffs/wngs during the week. I work out often and wearing a puff is easier for that. I can rinse my scalp after my workouts and just put it back up. I appreciate that freedom.
8. Favorite products and/or product line?My current favorite products are by Maryland-based Oyin Handmade. They’re natural and the first products I ordered that didn't disappoint me after the first use. I prefer to buy products on the ground but they have changed my mind.... I particularly LOVE the Hair Dew but I’m also using the Shine and Define for my twists. For my puffs, I use EcoStyler and Upper Management Gels. I’ve been doing this regimen for about 3 weeks now.
9. Any words of wisdom or encouragement for other Older Naturals already Natural or thinking about it?Natural hair here is not as big a deal it seems to be elsewhere. Most of the time I don't even think about it. I’m surrounded by women of all ages who are transitioning for numerous reasons. My words of wisdom- learn about your hair! Learn about porosity, observe how your hair reacts to certain products, the weather. Keep a journal! I have one and I refer back often! It helps you see your growth, what works/didn't work. Take pictures to document. Sometimes you think there is no growth or change in hair health, but when you see the pics you see reality!  In my community, we love and support others along the journey. It helps US hang in there. So, no matter what stage you're in, I encourage you to support other natural women when you see them. I always offer a smile and tell them I love their hair. And- it’s always true.

Reflection: Natural Hair Journey

Crazy shrinkage/Cute hair

Today I responded to a blogger's call for testimonials from older naturals. Although I rarely think of myself that way, she posed the idea that the natural journey for those beyond their 20's (in age) might be a little different. In some ways I'm inclined to agree. I'll share the questions and my answers tomorrow, but I thought I'd first take a little time to reflect.

Until this year, I have shared my journey and updates on FB. But this year my anniversary came and went with no fanfare. Why? Ummmm... I was busy and to top it off, I was a little depressed because I'd lost about 3 inches in a "trimming" session back in March. I take really good care of my hair but I sometimes over manipulate. I blame myself for not discussing how much I wanted cut first. Never again. I didn't like my hair for about 2 months and took very few pictures which is totally unlike me. Can you say NATURAL HAIR TANTRUM?? LOL

So, let's look back:

On Thanksgiving, 2011 it will have been 3 years since my last relaxer. I had actually tried to stop relaxing about 2 months earlier but I wasn't ready. I big chopped on April 23, 2009 after 5 months of transitioning. I had an excellent beautician who believed in natural hair helping me along the way. About 3 months in, I saw Good Hair. I was relieved I was already on it. I'm amazed that anyone could walk away from that movie without thinking really hard about the chemicals they are applying to their heads. I went to natural hair expos and found out I wasn't alone! In fact, it was clear that I was a virgin. I relied on blogs and YouTube to learn new things about hair, styling and products. Some of the information was good, some of it was just ok. What I have learned most is not every head of hair is the same. While my hair might look like someone else's, it may not respond the same to products. I also learned about product junkies who try every thing they hear about. I'm more frugal than that but I tried a few- mostly stuff on the ground. I got burned paying for shipping on products by Carols Daughter. I unknowingly purchased products that cost a lot, didn't work and couldn't be returned. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. That's my life motto- it applies to everything. With two exceptions, I haven't ordered anything else on-line despite raving reviews from other curlies.

The journey has not always been easy but it has taught me a lot about myself, self-identity and about accepting that which our Creator has given us. That last one is kind of hard to take for many who prefer weaves, relaxers, etc. I'm not knocking them at all since I'm a recovering addict myself. But I'm a thinker first. And until you really sit and think about... dissect all of the bad things associated with the hair of black folk, you can never truly understand the freedom in letting go- even if only for a short while. People never want to truly discuss:

• The mental conditioning that pushed our mothers to straighten our hair
• The many reasons why it must be tamed and made easy (compared to...)
• The many reasons why it's not perfect just as it is
• Enduring criticism and turned up noses from our sisters and brothers who have the exact, same hair and despite the fact that their sons and daughters will have it too
• The origins of the above attitudes

Some will never experience the burden lifted when you finally have that conversation. They don't want to and will never. And truly that is ok. I could go deeper, but there is no need. I know- we're not our hair. But in my eyes- I'm MORE my hair than my shoes, clothes and all the other things I hang on my outside. I'm just doing me. I'm free. My hair has anniversaries and birthdays and I celebrate them with deep treatments, natural products and trims.

I continue to learn about my hairs likes and dislikes. It likes to shrink (check the pic) and although I fought it at first- I've come to accept it. I recently learned that my hair is low porosity. Many hair dressers don't even talk to you about that, but it matters. Make sure you research it. Most of the time, I wear my hair curly for the most part, although I still like to wear it straight once or twice a year. I avoid heat and the damage that comes with it like the plague. With that in mind- I want to leave you with a quote I saw on Sabrina's Seriously Natural blog. It's my 2011 hair motto: 

Iron clothes, not hair

I dig that! WORD.

 

Recipes I LOVE: Fettucine with spinach and feta cheese

So, last week I cooked one of my son's favorite meals (at his request) and posted a picture of it on facebook. Several people asked me about it so I decided to add it to my blog. Believe it or not, it is a recipe I discovered while I was on weight watchers (8 points per serving in fact!). It's pretty quick to make, healthy and is BURSTING with flavor. Can't beat that! So, I'm providing the recipe as written in the book. If you try it, feel free to improvise as you desire. I do. If you try it- let me know! Bon appetite!

Ingredients:
8 oz of fettucine (I only use whole wheat or spinach based)
1 cup of reduced-sodium chicken broth, defatted
10 oz package \frozen, chopped spinach (thawed and squeezed dry)
1/3 cup sun-dried (not oil-packed) tomato halves (great for taste and color!)
1 clove garlic, minced
1 cup part-skim ricotta cheese
1/4 teaspoon of freshly ground black pepper
1/4 cup crumbled feta cheese

**I add portabella mushrooms and any other veggie I like. Sometimes I add chicken. AND- if I can find fat-free feta, I buy that. However, Trader Joe has the best sundried tomato version of feta and it makes the recipe pop!

Steps:
1. In a large pot of boiling water; cook the fettucine until just tender. Drain well
2.  Meanwhile, in a medium saucepan, bring the broth, spinach, sundried tomatoes and garlic to boil over high heat. Reduce the heat to a simmer, cover, and cook until the spinach is warmed through (about 5 minutes)
3.  Stir the ricotta and pepper into the saucepan and cook until just warmed through, about 1 minute. Transfer the mixture to a large bowl, add the pasta and feta, and toss to combine. Divide the pasta mixture among 4 bowls and serve.

Serves 4
Working time: 20 minutes
Total time: 30 minutes

Fat: 9G/22%
Calories: 362
Saturated fat: 4.8G
Carbs: 51G
Protein: 20G
Cholesterol: 80MG
Sodium: 402MG

Zen Cha Tea Salon - Bexley

 

Summer Tea and a Scone

I'm in love people.
Not for the first time, and certainly not the last.
In love with a place. A restaurant to be more specific. A tea salon, to be exact.
What's a tea salon, you ask? Well, obviously it involves tea. But when I think of a salon, I'm thinking of a place where you get your hair and nails done. A full service place of beauty. But when I searched "salon" on the internet the definition was quite different. According to Wikipedia (I know, I know, not necessarily good information but go with it!), a salon is a gathering of people under the roof of an inspiring host, held partly to amuse one another and partly to refine taste and increase their knowledge of the participants through conversation. Such salons also included the aim to please or educate and were commonly frequented by people of like minds.  So, let's put it all together. The Zen Cha tea salon is obviously of Asian persuasion/theme and of course they market tea. However the salon also has a goal of educating guests about teas from around the world, under the direction of an inspiring host, server or tea ambassador.

My first visit was very much like my second, so I'll combine them for the purpose of this review.  My friend Terri and I like to get out of the building for lunch from time to time. To be honest, there is nothing good to eat within 2 miles from the office. Therefore, we often venture out and land in Bexley where there is good eating and free parking. The first time we visited Zen Cha, it was closed despite posted signage suggesting they should be open. So, we went next door. We returned about 3 weeks later, and voila! It was open for business. We were greeted by a host whom we'll call Mr. C.  Mr. C stated he would be our host for the day. Because it was our first time, he told us about the full selection of teas offered, how best to drink (hot or cold) and foods that would pair well. Mr. C. had more tea knowledge than the 2 of us could digest in one sitting and we were very vocal about that. Terri and I had a great time questioning every detail and our host was a good sport.

THE FOOD
Terri and I browsed the menu before our visit (the joys of the internet!). Eventually, I orded the Beef and Blue Cheese sandwich with the Summer tea on ice. Terri had the Ginger Beef salad (can't recall the tea, sorry!). She also ordered dessert early, in the form of a cinnamon and orange scone. We both indulged in the scone, which was quite delicious, surprisingly moist and full of flavor.

My sandwich was just as flavorful. The beef was tender, the blue cheese dressing was light and the cabbage offered a nice crunch. A small green salad accompanied the dish. Nothing to rave about but still good. Terri on the other hand enjoyed the Ginger Salad. She ate it all so I can vouch for her that it was quite tasty. It look quite beautiful. The last time we went, we both ordered the Beef and Blue sandwich. It was just as good the second time around. Since it's still summer, I again enjoyed the Summer tea. The Summer tea is a fruity blend of jasmine, green tea and lots of fresh cut fruit. The fruit (kiwi, pineapple, pear) floats prettily beneath the ice. It is the epitome of REFRESHING! I will try something else next time, but right now that tea hits the spot!

Ginger Beef Salad


The remaining menu selections look pretty good too by the way. During our last visit, Terri ordered the Smoked Salmon Crostini appetizer. I'll be honest. It looked pretty and scary to me at the same time when it arrived. There were 4 bits of crusty bread on the plate, with salmon, some sort of dijon sauce and cranberries on top. Although I was skeptical at first, it turned out to be a very good combination. I'm sorry I didn't photograph it! In any case, I mentioned the Asian persuasion earlier but the Zen Cha menu is not limited in that way. There are are other influences as well. Entrees such as Miso Ramen, Hojica Shrimp, Russian Caravan Medallions, and Chocolate Beignets are also featured on the menu.

AMBIANCE
So, I've discussed the food. Let's talk ambiance. My first memory is that Zen Cha has a lovely bathroom, with probably the most beautiful sink I've ever seen. I need to take a picture of it. I found myself wanting to stay in there and play in the water. I didn't though. Really.... The restaurant itself is kind of dark but cozy at the same time. There is a large window up front with two tables. It's the perfect lunch venue and would make a lovely, date night if you should find yourself there in the evening.

There is a small section of shelves featuring tea-time tools and every thing you could possibly want to know or learn about brewing and drinking tea. It's definitely fun to look and laugh at tiny tea cups that hold about 3 sips of tea, but cost more than my bedroom furniture.

PRICE/SERVICE
Here's the hitch. Full tea service at Zen Cha is about $5.95 on average. This includes a fair sized pot/carafe of the selected tea and the tea-time talk with the host. Remember, it is a "salon", education is involved and they would like you to become a "like-minded" lover of tea. The lunch menu is on average $10 or less. But it adds up quickly should you include an appetizer or tea. My most recent tab was $20 and that was because I also ordered edamame.  So, I won't be going there every day but once every couple of weeks is doable. It's also important to note that the highest item on the menu is only $18.50. Not bad for a date night choice.


Beef and Blue Cheese


 I told you service was good. Mr. C was far more attentive than our most recent server. That was ok however, because we were engaged in conversation and constant interruption may not have been welcomed. The only issue I have with service at all is that we noticed that the wait times at Zen Cha can be quite long. We arrived at about 1:15 and left at close to 2:30. The place was in no way crowded. The first visit was closer to 2 hours (all that artistry and education I suppose!). Having some familiarity with the menu cut down on some of the time but not quite enough. So make sure you have some time to spare if you go.

LOCATION
Zen Cha is located in the heart of Bexley and there is also the original salon which is located in the Short North of Columbus.

In sum, Zen Cha Tea Salon beckons me regularly. I'm serious. Beckons. It calls out to me at least once a week. Even suggests I bring my journal and stay awhile. And sometimes, I cave and go... Salud!

Jill Scott: The Light of the Sun review

On Tuesday, Jill Scott released her latest project: The Light Of The Sun. I listened in advance a few times thanks to a couple of sites that streamed it for several days. One of them was NPR. I thought if NPR is streaming- it must be pretty good with some substance and mass appeal (and someone has some pull!). Not that Jill doesn’t normally deliver but I must admit that I haven’t been totally blown away since- Who is Jill Scott? I can remember only a few songs from the projects in between this one and that.  After only the first listen, I LOVED it! I mean… wow. I don’t know about you but I’ve been thru a few thangs... I’ve experienced heartbreaks from my own bad choices in love and life. Apparently, so has Jill as evidenced by the song Quick where she sings ‘Ov’a! Can’t believe it’s ov’a! So quick!’ Boy do I know that one… Thought I was on to something and then… But I digress…

At a time when ladies young and old seem quick to bed and man hop as regularly as our risky brethren it’s quite refreshing to hear something different from the music industry than the usual mattress antics of Nikki Minaj, Rihanna, et al. This throwback to having some discernment about who you lay with is a refreshing treat from Jill. Now that’s not to say she can’t or doesn’t get as freaky and serve her man as well as the next grown woman (Exhibited A: Until Then) but that isn’t the basis of her sound or message. I can appreciate that.  But what I appreciate most is her checking those who want to check in to her life. The expressed ideology that she is worthy of more than a quickie and they should align themselves accordingly. Say it again Jill!  Making You Wait (which sounds like Raheem Devaughn’s “YOU”), Rolling Hills and the poem Womanifesto make it plain that you better get with the program!  Other stand outs for me are So Gone (been there, done that), Le Boom Vent Suite and the catchy, makes-me-wanna-get-up-and-dance Shame (sampling Special Ed’s classic The Magnificent). Jill is back, fresh, cool and MAGNIFICENT! Take note and respect her conglomerate!

Her mic sounds nice check one! Her mic sounds nice check two!

Have you checked it out? If yes- what thinketh you?

Slakah the Beatchild

This kid is dope y'all. If you like Neo soul type music and songs that actually make a woman smile versus drop her drawers (slim pickins these days!), you might like this one. Check it out and let me know what you think!  
http://www.sendspace.com/file/95p61p


And if you dig it- download for FREE

Hey-O!

Well, again I've let tons of time pass by with no post. There was a rhyme and reason this time though. Well... several reasons. My son had to have surgery due to an athletic injury and his recovery wasn't fun. He was not happy about it as it derailed any plans to play basketball. We felt it better that he deal with it now versus when he is 40. He'll thank us later.

In the meantime, I haven't been writing as much and only getting out randomly. Working to improve that. I HAVE been trying new hair products and such so I'll post on that later. And I've written a couple of poems to share with you. Oh! And there is music! So much... So, stay tuned. I'll be back soon. Like tomorrow. Hope you are enjoying the improving blogsite. I added tabs for quick access to my thoughts on various subjects. Other changes are coming down the pipeline as well. Welcome back. ;)

Girls with glasses... random thought for the day

Oh boy... Today is kind of random...

How were your weekends friends? Mine was busy. I worked but it was also my birthday and so I did a little celebrating. Not the kind I wanted... with tons of sushi and dancing... a little more low key with family, presents and well... family. My family is all inclusive. It includes my friends and relatives. It's not BLOOD related.

I don't talk about it much but I'm an adult adoptee. That means- yes, I was put up for adoption as an infant, raised by another family... you know the story. You've probably seen something similar on lifetime. Those stories run the gamut of good, bad and evil, don't they? One of these days I'm going to share my full story but let's fast forward to the current. I found my biological family in 2004. Since then, the journey has had its ups and downs but they're more up these days. I gained a sister, brother, 2 aunts, an uncle, father and mother from my reunion. It was a strange experience for them- my coming into their lives. Although I hoped for an instant connection-- ala Antwone Fischer... I didn't quite fit. My lifestyle was different. My perspective was different. I had my own family. They had theirs. I came with knowledge about finding birth families but they had no education on being found. As a result, I understood their distance, hesitancy AND it still hurt me. Yet suddenly we've gone from little contact to increased efforts on all parts, mine included. On Friday, I was invited to a surprise birthday party for my Aunt Debbie. We met in 2005 I think. She was sick and in the hospital. I felt a certain kinship then but she had her recovery to manage. That was fine with me since as you know- I had my own stuff. So, Debbie it turns out is on FB and we reconnected when I requested her. I had hopes of seeing pictures and hearing stories about the paternal side of my family. I had some background on mom's side but none on dads. Once we became friends, Debbie and I began chatting. Sharing minimal stuff. When she invited me to the party, I accepted. So- Debbie thought we were going to dinner at a local eatery for her birthday but instead she was being dropped at the surprise party under some unknown ruse... I dragged my husband with me because I'm an introvert and I don't do well with strangers. My sister was attending also but was scheduled to arrive late. Besides, I wanted to yell "SURPRIIIISSSEEE!!" so I was on time. For some reason, that just makes me happy. LOL! Anyway, one of the organizers asked which niece I was- Kimberly or Lynne. When I answered, she stated that Debbie wanted to make sure that I was taken care of because in her words "you're an introvert". LOL! I was like- how does she know?? And yet she did. That generous effort to make ME comfortable at her event made me feel special. I understood that somehow, she knew me even though the extent of our relationship has been FaceBook. The party went well. Debbie was suprised. She cried a lot. My biological father came and we had a chance to chat and take pictures. I hadn't seen him in a long while either. While the party was very much about Debbie- I kind of felt it was about me too. About us. About FAMILY. Who we let in and who we don't. You see, I struggle sometimes with my family. The ones who adopted, CHOSE me. We don't always see eye to eye. And they KNOW me too. This is not a knock against them but a testimony to the idea that sometimes family manifests in strange ways. Maybe not always in the package you want, but they're still there. I have a new budding relationship with my aunt. Every friend of hers who met me did so with love in their eyes. I became a part of the party, the family and not just a spectator. I was no Cinderella of the ball and the connection I felt was no flick of the magic of the wand destined to revert. What an awakening!

What began as a quest for a few pictures, instead became a pathway toward a full relationship with someone who has an interest in and loves me. And at the end of the day, blood or not-- that's what family is all about. And if you're doing it right; if you're in a good place- you will just get on board and love them as they are. Whoever the "they" is in YOUR life. Embrace and let them know you're right there with them.

The picture:
That's me, my sis and Aunt Debbie in the middle peeps. I know- I'm not wearing glasses but wait til you see my new ones! oh boy! And check the hair! cute, right?

I told you this was random!

Peace and love~

My oh my, a whole month has gone by!!! Curls Product Review on deck!

Hey friends! Wow, I have checked in on my site a few times but it's been forever since I posted anything. An entire month! That sucks! And it's not because I have nothing to say... I just haven't had the quiet time I need to compose.

Lets make this post about hair! Then I'll do a concert review later this week. Stay tuned.

I've had some love and hate times with my hair lately. I don't want to cut it or anything but I need it to stop me from "dating" all these darned hair products! I've tried a lot of stuff in the last 2 months. Ok... Only 2 products. But they've been some blind dates! While the potential suitors were ok, they just didn't quite take me there... Today, we begin with Curls Whipped Cream...



After winning a bottle of Cashmere Curls on Facebook, I decided to go ahead and get myself a jar of styling product. I'd been playing around with another product which I'm thinking could be my staple eventually but in the meantime, my PJ has been on the prowl. She's such a cheater! Anyway, I decided on the Whipped Cream after talking with the owner. It came in a cute little jar. It smelled TERRIFIC! It felt nice on my hands... But alas... That was the beginning AND end of the love affair. The first time I tried it, my hair had a little hold but it dried crunchy and was a little frizzy. Meh. The second time, I used Cashmere Curls underneath. Meh. Same thing with a little less frizz and a little more shine. The 3rd time... THIRD! I tried it with the Quench moisturizing product underneath. Curls recommends that product under Whipped Cream AND they sent me a nice sized, free sample. I love that about the Curls company. Order something and you can sample something else. But I digress. The third time was not the charm... providing similar results... Boo. Again... Decent looking twist set but hard, stiff hair. So, I think I've decided whipped cream is either not for me or I'm using it wrong. I've since written the owner. We'll see what comes of it. For now- it's NO BUENO!

In the meantime, I got my hair straightened for a weekend change. Here's a pic of my and my honey. I enjoyed the straight look for about 3 days and then I was ready for my curls again. It was very windy on Valentines weekend and hair kept blowing in my mouth. Ick! Give me my curls, any day! Here's a pic! Until next time!

Girls with glassess are CRAFTY!

Today is show off your craftiness day! Now, this is not significant to Tuesday, or February 1, but only to show that I'm feeling a little crafty lately. AND-- I wanted to show off my first CUTE scrapbook pages. This won't be the best view because I took it with my cellphone but it's cute nonetheless. It is a picture of my brother and nephew. I have since upped the cute factor. I'll take a better picture and repost for comparison later tonight. I'm going to try again this weekend! But in the meantime- let me know your thoughts... and if you are crafty yourself!

Girls with Glasses WRITE!

All You Are

I’m thinking…
we could make this work
If you were less involved
Played the back until at least
We could resolve
Our situation which
Has not lessened-
But instead has evolved

If just once you could
Allow your representative, other self
Your puppet head
stand in, while you
collect dust on the shelf


Place your stunt double
In every important scene
Not only the action shots but
Certainly,
those that include me

For those are the ones
When we’re most at risk
A “we” that is shaky
Some times doesn’t exist

When your empty promises
Silent goodbyes
Make me bury deep
The hurt I feel inside

Our reunions are constant
But not like the stars
They’re full of false starts
Like broken down cars
Like a zipper that catches
A snap that’s lost half
Like empty mall carts
So lets do the math...

When you call and I answer
feel numb at your tears
I hear what they explain
They say you're all I have feared

The answer seems simple
This is all a farce
And you’re a joking, ventriloquist
Whose words don’t impart-

Anything meaningful
Lasting beyond the present
Which should also explain
Why I’m always hesitant

And add to the equation
you’re never quite there
Your lips always moving
But blowing hot air

a red balloon in the sky
Tossed about by the wind
Sadly glimpsed in the distance
only every now and then

So, please consider
Letting your under study stand in
She sees my longing
With me , she wants to begin

With me, she sees promise
With me she sees hope
While she is my island
I’m the life saving boat

With me there is love
With me there’s reward
She has no desire to impale
What we might be on a sword

She sees you and I could make it
If she makes her debut
While you play the back
Because all you are is-- you

Girls with Glasses talk HAIR

Well, hello again already chicas! It’s me once more. It’s my goal to make 2-3 updates today. Hope it’s cool. This one will be short but sweet, or at least that is the goal. So, my hair… yeah… It continues to flourish and grow. I still love it, but I haven’t been experimenting or consumed with it lately. We are settled, like a seasoned and boring couple for whom movie night is now an exciting date. LOL! I attended a party recently and the pictures were posted on FB and I marveled at how BIG my hair was on a day when I thought it looked terrible. Check out the pic of me and a lovely curly some of you may recognize from CurlyNikki.com! I am trying out a new product which I will review in a few days. I was trying to wait a week or two before I talk about it. It’s been discussed before on other threads with good reviews and I found it in my city. Stay tuned, I’ll come back to this in a few days!
I lurk a lot of threads on hair and I hear a lot of women say “It’s just hair!”. They are screaming it from the mountain tops, I swear! I’m about to go against the grain on that talk. Yeah, it is just hair but it’s not JUST HAIR. At least not for me. I care about every single part of me, hair included and on some days… especially. Every time I hear someone say that I wonder why only women say it, refer to it as an accessory. I wonder why they never say- ‘it’s just clothes… shoes… jewelry. Things that are actually-- detachable. That would make more sense to me. I mean, you can give those items away. Someone else can often fit them and they often come in one size fits all. I don’t see my hair as THAT way. My hair is no more a simple accessory than are my legs or my arms which are often taken for granted (sorry limbs!). As if they owe us something. As if it is somehow promised they will work tomorrow. I know I have been trying to make amends with my entire body lately. I’ve been exercising, trying to get my limbs back in shape. And since I started my natural journey, I have been doing the same with my hair. I used to take it for granted too. Relax, color, relax, color, cut it off when I didn’t like it anymore, relax, color, relax, color and then chop it all off again. Basically, mistreat it. Called it… IT. But no more. My hair… SHE actually has a name- Thelma. Because she’s a throw back to Good Times (though not for my momma) when my hair was free to be itself and in essence so was I. Thelma is my way of rebelling against a time of learned, self abuse. Thelma is a boycott of the days when the chemical mistreatment of my hair was more costly, important and routine to me than eating a simple, daily breakfast. Well times have changed my friends. I realized it the other day in a cozy, urban coffee shop where my hair and I are normal. Other beautiful curly and naturals chicks hang out there on a regular basis. While rushing to grab a table, I bumped into a non-black woman (who was curly herself) with my over-sized purse. I thought she would be annoyed but instead she turned and expressed that she loved my hair before asking me if I’d seen Good Hair. Of course I had and it was a great compliment. Bottom line though: You accept you. They accept you. It’s that simple.
At the end of the day, my hair is my crown. A jewel. The star on my tree. The number one statement of… me. It is what people see when they look at me. It’s how my husband and son find me when we become separated in a store crowded with relaxers and weaves. It is a part of my i.d. And that’s just fine with me.
So much for short and sweet, huh? ;)