Girls with glasses... random thought for the day

Oh boy... Today is kind of random...

How were your weekends friends? Mine was busy. I worked but it was also my birthday and so I did a little celebrating. Not the kind I wanted... with tons of sushi and dancing... a little more low key with family, presents and well... family. My family is all inclusive. It includes my friends and relatives. It's not BLOOD related.

I don't talk about it much but I'm an adult adoptee. That means- yes, I was put up for adoption as an infant, raised by another family... you know the story. You've probably seen something similar on lifetime. Those stories run the gamut of good, bad and evil, don't they? One of these days I'm going to share my full story but let's fast forward to the current. I found my biological family in 2004. Since then, the journey has had its ups and downs but they're more up these days. I gained a sister, brother, 2 aunts, an uncle, father and mother from my reunion. It was a strange experience for them- my coming into their lives. Although I hoped for an instant connection-- ala Antwone Fischer... I didn't quite fit. My lifestyle was different. My perspective was different. I had my own family. They had theirs. I came with knowledge about finding birth families but they had no education on being found. As a result, I understood their distance, hesitancy AND it still hurt me. Yet suddenly we've gone from little contact to increased efforts on all parts, mine included. On Friday, I was invited to a surprise birthday party for my Aunt Debbie. We met in 2005 I think. She was sick and in the hospital. I felt a certain kinship then but she had her recovery to manage. That was fine with me since as you know- I had my own stuff. So, Debbie it turns out is on FB and we reconnected when I requested her. I had hopes of seeing pictures and hearing stories about the paternal side of my family. I had some background on mom's side but none on dads. Once we became friends, Debbie and I began chatting. Sharing minimal stuff. When she invited me to the party, I accepted. So- Debbie thought we were going to dinner at a local eatery for her birthday but instead she was being dropped at the surprise party under some unknown ruse... I dragged my husband with me because I'm an introvert and I don't do well with strangers. My sister was attending also but was scheduled to arrive late. Besides, I wanted to yell "SURPRIIIISSSEEE!!" so I was on time. For some reason, that just makes me happy. LOL! Anyway, one of the organizers asked which niece I was- Kimberly or Lynne. When I answered, she stated that Debbie wanted to make sure that I was taken care of because in her words "you're an introvert". LOL! I was like- how does she know?? And yet she did. That generous effort to make ME comfortable at her event made me feel special. I understood that somehow, she knew me even though the extent of our relationship has been FaceBook. The party went well. Debbie was suprised. She cried a lot. My biological father came and we had a chance to chat and take pictures. I hadn't seen him in a long while either. While the party was very much about Debbie- I kind of felt it was about me too. About us. About FAMILY. Who we let in and who we don't. You see, I struggle sometimes with my family. The ones who adopted, CHOSE me. We don't always see eye to eye. And they KNOW me too. This is not a knock against them but a testimony to the idea that sometimes family manifests in strange ways. Maybe not always in the package you want, but they're still there. I have a new budding relationship with my aunt. Every friend of hers who met me did so with love in their eyes. I became a part of the party, the family and not just a spectator. I was no Cinderella of the ball and the connection I felt was no flick of the magic of the wand destined to revert. What an awakening!

What began as a quest for a few pictures, instead became a pathway toward a full relationship with someone who has an interest in and loves me. And at the end of the day, blood or not-- that's what family is all about. And if you're doing it right; if you're in a good place- you will just get on board and love them as they are. Whoever the "they" is in YOUR life. Embrace and let them know you're right there with them.

The picture:
That's me, my sis and Aunt Debbie in the middle peeps. I know- I'm not wearing glasses but wait til you see my new ones! oh boy! And check the hair! cute, right?

I told you this was random!

Peace and love~