Reflection: Natural Hair Journey

Crazy shrinkage/Cute hair

Today I responded to a blogger's call for testimonials from older naturals. Although I rarely think of myself that way, she posed the idea that the natural journey for those beyond their 20's (in age) might be a little different. In some ways I'm inclined to agree. I'll share the questions and my answers tomorrow, but I thought I'd first take a little time to reflect.

Until this year, I have shared my journey and updates on FB. But this year my anniversary came and went with no fanfare. Why? Ummmm... I was busy and to top it off, I was a little depressed because I'd lost about 3 inches in a "trimming" session back in March. I take really good care of my hair but I sometimes over manipulate. I blame myself for not discussing how much I wanted cut first. Never again. I didn't like my hair for about 2 months and took very few pictures which is totally unlike me. Can you say NATURAL HAIR TANTRUM?? LOL

So, let's look back:

On Thanksgiving, 2011 it will have been 3 years since my last relaxer. I had actually tried to stop relaxing about 2 months earlier but I wasn't ready. I big chopped on April 23, 2009 after 5 months of transitioning. I had an excellent beautician who believed in natural hair helping me along the way. About 3 months in, I saw Good Hair. I was relieved I was already on it. I'm amazed that anyone could walk away from that movie without thinking really hard about the chemicals they are applying to their heads. I went to natural hair expos and found out I wasn't alone! In fact, it was clear that I was a virgin. I relied on blogs and YouTube to learn new things about hair, styling and products. Some of the information was good, some of it was just ok. What I have learned most is not every head of hair is the same. While my hair might look like someone else's, it may not respond the same to products. I also learned about product junkies who try every thing they hear about. I'm more frugal than that but I tried a few- mostly stuff on the ground. I got burned paying for shipping on products by Carols Daughter. I unknowingly purchased products that cost a lot, didn't work and couldn't be returned. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. That's my life motto- it applies to everything. With two exceptions, I haven't ordered anything else on-line despite raving reviews from other curlies.

The journey has not always been easy but it has taught me a lot about myself, self-identity and about accepting that which our Creator has given us. That last one is kind of hard to take for many who prefer weaves, relaxers, etc. I'm not knocking them at all since I'm a recovering addict myself. But I'm a thinker first. And until you really sit and think about... dissect all of the bad things associated with the hair of black folk, you can never truly understand the freedom in letting go- even if only for a short while. People never want to truly discuss:

• The mental conditioning that pushed our mothers to straighten our hair
• The many reasons why it must be tamed and made easy (compared to...)
• The many reasons why it's not perfect just as it is
• Enduring criticism and turned up noses from our sisters and brothers who have the exact, same hair and despite the fact that their sons and daughters will have it too
• The origins of the above attitudes

Some will never experience the burden lifted when you finally have that conversation. They don't want to and will never. And truly that is ok. I could go deeper, but there is no need. I know- we're not our hair. But in my eyes- I'm MORE my hair than my shoes, clothes and all the other things I hang on my outside. I'm just doing me. I'm free. My hair has anniversaries and birthdays and I celebrate them with deep treatments, natural products and trims.

I continue to learn about my hairs likes and dislikes. It likes to shrink (check the pic) and although I fought it at first- I've come to accept it. I recently learned that my hair is low porosity. Many hair dressers don't even talk to you about that, but it matters. Make sure you research it. Most of the time, I wear my hair curly for the most part, although I still like to wear it straight once or twice a year. I avoid heat and the damage that comes with it like the plague. With that in mind- I want to leave you with a quote I saw on Sabrina's Seriously Natural blog. It's my 2011 hair motto: 

Iron clothes, not hair

I dig that! WORD.